Time sure passes by so quickly without us realizing. It has been 11 months since I became a Mom. Next month will be Baby A’s first birthday! Can’t believe she is turning 1 year old! My little Bulat is no longer Bulat. I am still waiting for the “sleep through the night” to happen. I am hoping she will grow up quickly but at the same time I hope she doesn’t. My breastfeeding journey has been pretty good but it’s time to wean her off and I don’t know how. Here’s a quick top 5 things I learnt in 1 year.
1. Nobody is perfect. Post natal depression – don’t ignore it.
Yes, it is. In my last post I was depressed and confused and overwhelmed and became a cry-baby. I wasn’t sure if it was depression but I was depressed alright. It then occur to me that if mine was considered mild, what about others who has gone through worse? As a mom, I think there are many factors that can cause one to be depressed. Baby who are superbly demanding and doesn’t know how else to communicate but to cry and shout. Even worse when you have no one else but yourself to tend to the baby. Family who only know how to tell you what to do but never listens. Husbands who is just being husbands (or Man), ignorant of what is happening, forgetful like dory fish and is just not as assertive as you like them to be. For me, I think it was everything but more milder version. I can’t stand Baby A needing lots and lots of attention before she sleeps and she just wants ME to be there. My mom who is trying to be a MOM to Baby A more than being a Mom to me. Husband who needs more sleep than the baby, otherwise he will be cranky. At the end of the day, it is up to me whether I want to continue to be depressed or share my worries and burdens with others . I am glad I opened up and cried my heart out to hubs. I also learnt one thing, don’t try to be perfect. No one is perfect.
2. Breastfeeding – I say go ahead. There’s more good than bad.
I have been breastfeeding Baby A for 11 months now. It has been quite a pleasant and easy journey for me. I didn’t have that many issues with latching and my milk supply is just sufficient. However, I think that it has created a habit for Baby A. We can only pacify her by latching her on and I am super worried that I will not be able to wean her off! I would really need help weaning her and I foresee a tough journey ahead. But overall, I think there are more Pros than Cons.
Good: Breastfeeding create that bonding between mom and baby. Breast milk is said to help baby develop strong immunization. Great savings as it is costly to buy milk formula.
Bad: Becomes habitual and will take time to wean baby. Can be exhausting for moms.
Given the opportunity to choose again, I would…………… still breastfeed. Of course, if you find it difficult and don’t want to breastfeed, that’s perfectly alright too.
3. Support is so important. Any type of support at all, each one counts.
I think I have been superbly fortunate to have family members who cares and friends whom I can call my family. All the support that they have given me is what kept me going. Other than the emotional support, there’s also all the gifts and hand-me-downs from them that I truly truly appreciate. I really cannot thank god enough for blessing me and surrounding me with these people.
4. Slow or fast, it doesn’t matter, as long as Baby is healthy.
What am I talking about? Sometimes I tend to compare. Especially when 2016 was the year where I have more than 12 friends giving birth to monkey babies. When they first grow teeth or turn over to when they can talk or read. I was pressured thinking that if this baby can do it at 6 months old, Baby A should be able to do it too! Later, I realized how silly I was. Who cares if she can recognize alphabets when she is 6 months old or whether she has teeth or not. The most important was Baby A growing healthily and happily. I hope I continue to think this way till she is a grown up! I know I hated it when Mom compares me to other people when I was young. So, I should not repeat it to my own daughter.
5. Having a baby changes your life. You now have your own family.
What do you think? Of course it changes your life. Not only your life but your body too! (haha, maybe this is only applicable to me) I no longer have the freedom to go out as and when I like as I would need to consider who will be taking care of baby if I am going out. This will definitely impact some lifestyles. No more happy hour, facials, massage and mani pedis as and when I like. It’s not that I cannot go, I just need to organize and plan ahead. My priorities have changed too. Sleep who used to be very important is now no longer in my dictionary. Family or baby comes first, work is now always second. I don’t think that’s easy for many people and it is easier said than done. But I think the most important thing is that you try. Never try, never know!
Of course, these changes can be temporary. Who knows, I may be out partying together with my daughter in future, going to mani and pedi sessions with her and shopping together. Those are the fun stuff that has yet to happened!
Being a mom is a life long learning journey.
That 5 things I pointed our are just parts and parcel of Mom’s life. There are so many other stories, experiences and things that one can say about being a mom. I have not even started on lack of sleep, skin problems, losing weight, baby getting sick and the list goes on. No matter what it is, we just need to accept it positively. Ask if you don’t know, cry if you have to and don’t stop learning.