The First Thing I Learnt After Becoming a Mom

9.5 months into becoming a mom, I have learnt so many things. You thought that everything will be all good and rosy after you have given birth. You thought that it was all over after 9 months. Well, sorry to say this but you are so wrong. Now I know why those who became a parent always say, they wish to turn back time!

I am sure everyone has their own experience and story. For me, the FIRST thing I learnt after becoming a mom is that:

Whoever invented the phrase “sleep like a baby” is definitely not a mother.. It should have been, “sleep like your husband”

Note: applies to those who became a parent or mom and took care of their baby on their own with no helper at all

Sleep like a baby should be sleep like your husband

The process of getting a baby to sleep is definitely not easy. You’d imagine cute little beings, sleeping soundly and having the sweetest dreams ever.

Sleeping soundly like this
Sleeping soundly like this
Or having a sweet dream like this
Or having a sweet dream like this
Or sleeping comfortably like this
and sleeping comfortably like this…

However, before they manage to sleep like the photos I showed above, there is this dreadful process of getting them to go to sleep!

This is one of those scenarios that I encounter daily... before Baby A goes to bed
This is one of those scenarios that I encounter daily in the last 3 months… before Baby A goes to bed

Of course, every baby is different and I have heard that there are 1001 ways for you to pacify a baby or to train the baby to sleep on their own.

  1. Use a pacifier. Baby will suck until fall asleep, best thing ever! This definitely didn’t work on Baby A. She hates pacifier and she spits it out and yell even louder when you put the pacifier in her mouth.
    What they tell me: “You didn’t start her young enough”
  2. Direct latch baby. This can only be applied for breastfeeding moms. Yes, this is also the method that I am currently using because that was the only way to pacify her. But But But…. I have other things that I want to do too, instead of just feeding baby the whole night until she falls asleep?
    Why is it a bad option: It is good if baby sleeps immediately and wakes up only at her next feed. It is bad when baby sleeps for 30 minutes and started crying again, mommy goes and latch baby until fall asleep. One hour later, repeat…
  3. Let baby cry to sleep. Many people use this method and especially on their 2nd or 3rd baby. After a few times, they know that there’s no use crying. They will learn to fall asleep on their own.
    Why can’t I apply this method: Baby A scratches herself when she cries. She literally abuses herself. Pulling her hair and ears and scratching her neck and face. So the longer I leave her crying, the more scars I will see on her face. One time, she pulled her ears so hard, it started bleeding.
  4. Baby who sleep on their tummy sleeps longer than baby who sleeps on their back. Some babies automatically turn and sleep on their tummy once they reach a certain age. Unfortunately, this does not apply to Baby A.
    Why can’t I do this: Baby A doesn’t turn on her own to sleep on her tummy. If i force her to do so, I will be the one that’s paranoid. I probably won’t be able to sleep. My mind will be thinking what if she couldn’t breath, what if she suffocates, maybe it’s better to turn her back.. Afraid that she may suffocate and the risk of SIDS.

So, why sleep like your husband?

This will defer depending on the family. In our case, I am the one on night shift since the day Baby A was born. Daddy was sensitive to Baby A’s cries only the first 4 days. Yes, only the first 4 days! There’s this little process as our baby grows:

1st month – 3rd month: “Can’t really hear when baby is crying”, “She cried last night?”

4th month – 6th month: “Yeah, I heard her crying last night. I woke up but I couldn’t GET UP. Since you attended to her, I went back to sleep.”

7th month on-wards: “Your turn to go put her to bed”, “OMG, I can’t take it, your turn” In the middle of the night, we both gets frustrated, angry and pissed off at Baby A, at ourselves and at each other. Some good days and some really bad days. Because latching her was the only way to pacify Baby A, mostly, I am the one on duty.

So, sometimes I wish, I really wish I could sleep like my husband!

Of course, daddy has his role to play. Dads are given tasks to do. This is to help ease mommy’s lack of sleep and to share parenting responsibility. But when it comes to sleep, please stop using the phrase sleep like a baby. Go and invent something else, like “Sleep like a puppy” or something.

For those parents where their babies are REAL ANGEL and love to sleep or doesn’t fight sleep, Lucky You!

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